A Message to My Friend (it's rantin' time~!)

Did you all miss angry Jojo? Well despair no more because I am back with a vengeance!
(although this might be shorter than my other rants...sorry haha)

What shall I be ranting about today? Two words:
Alcohol. Culture.

Now, before some high strung people rage at me with stuff like: "Oh my gawd, you're such a hater! Just 'cause you're such an angel doesn't mean you have to judge us just 'cause we wanna have some fun! It's our choice if we wanna drink alcohol or not, OHMIGAWD GO AWAY!" (a person actually defended themselves in this manner by the way, so I am technically not exaggerating) Let me explain a few things:

Numero Uno: No, I am not saying this on behalf of any religion; I am simply expressing my own personal views on the matter from what I have seen and experienced so far in my life with people who drink alcohol and alcohol in general.

Number duex: To answer the sarcastic remark: "Oh, like you have NEVER drank alcohol before, stop acting like such a saint!" I reply with no, I actually never have. Again, I shall state that I just do not find it appealing and my religion wouldn't even have to play a factor in it whatsoever.

Number twee: (MOST IMPORTANT - WARNING!): This message is not to my readers by the way. I have a friend whom I have been feeling very concerned for recently and lately she has been ignoring my attempts to contact her because she claims that I have been "out of line" and that it isn't "my business" what she decides to do to her body when we are chilling. So, I am writing this to her and I'm sorry, but this will contain swear words and controversial topics because I have been feeling so FRUSTRATED with her that I am just gonna let it all out. I'm sorry, I know I don't usually do this, but oh well.

So without further ado, let's begin: (By the way buddy, you'll know it's you I'm talking to when you're reading this.)

To My Dear Friend: Why I hate Alcohol Culture

First of all, I find alcohol itself to be disgusting. Maybe that view is really exaggerated considering I never tried it before, so let me try this again: I find the beverage to be pointless and degrading. I'm not even going to dedicate an entire paragraph to how many health risks it causes because if you haven't even heard of any of them by now and you're still drinking, then you are just an irresponsible doofus who shouldn't even be allowed to drink it before looking them up. Ignoring the fact that it causes heart disease, depression, seizures, liver damage, it's even been proven to have an influence to the cause of cancer. So yeah...if you still don't get why I don't find it appealing health-wise, it ain't my fault at this point. Probably just the weird conceptions people have nowadays of "healthy".

And I'm sorry, but I don't get how when you become a teen or when you hit a certain age, drinking alcohol and making shitty decisions is considered a tradition that you have to do as a part of "growing up". I also don't get how in a lot of countries (the one you're in included), sometimes one of the main compulsories to have in a party is alcohol and that everybody's life goal is to get completely "smashed" at least once in their life. I'm sorry but I just don't. And if you're gonna tell me that it's just your idea of "fun" and that I've just got some holy stick shoved up my ass, then bitch allow me to take off this stick of righteousness and shove it up your poop-shoot in hopes that I'll shove it so far up that maybe some morals might sink into your beer-dipped brain cell!

And you know what I hate most in general? Including the fact that it gets you so drunk, I am afraid of waiting for somebody to tell me one day that you're in an emergency room; and that it gets you so drunk, I'm terrified of the day that I hear you got raped; and that it gets you so drunk, you'll fail all of your classes at this rate; what I hate the most is how you nowadays seem to use it as an EXCUSE for you and your friends to be complete ASSHOLES and sometimes borderline violent to people around you. Look, buddy, I know you wanna have your fun, but there is A FUCKING LIMIT! To what you can pass off as "just having fun" and to what we consider as you crossing the line. I hate how people can be so inconsiderate to their loved ones around them and just not giving a flying fuck about how they are hurting them especially when they are practically knocking off the years in their life spans, like it's some fucking game of Jenga and when they finally bring the whole thing down, they don't care where or how they'll end up in the end.

...

*ahem* Uh, okay. Now time for me to clarify.

I understand that people go through hardships, completely dark chapters in their lives and they want to get away from it all and I completely understand that. I'm not that naive; I acknowledge sometimes people see alcohol as a method of escapism so that just for some hours of the day they can get away from some of the pain (believe me, I've experienced some of it). For those who got offended by my aggressive tone still, I'll generalize my point before I end this rant: I get that when you are young, you're influenced by your friends to just have fun and just take a sip, there's no harm. And I get if you're just one of those people that never get to that extent of "completely hammered" and just sometimes take alcohol for its flavor, I won't hold it against you. As long as you ain't hurting anybody (else), I'm not one to stop you. You believe in your philosophies, I'll believe my own and I'm gonna let you do you. I just don't see the purpose of getting completely drunk during the weekends and risk your safety in so many ways just to shout stupid stuff at somebody's window or finally get a quickie in some neighbor's closet.

And with that, I'll end my point with website article that finally encouraged me to write this up for my friend and I wrote a sentence partially based on one of the points made on it (you'll find it on the page):

 

http://thoughtcatalog.com/madison-moore/2012/09/i-really-hate-alcohol/

 Sorry for people who found me too aggressive in this rant. Again, this is just a message for my friend, NOT intended to offend anybody out there. And apologies for the RIDICULOUSLY bad grammar I used in this rant, haha! I just had no control by the time I wrote the first paragraph.

Anyways, hope you at least enjoyed some aspects of this post,

And I hope to come back writing something positive at least! Haha

Have a nice day and PEACE!

Heeeyyy!

Hi!
So, haven't written in a while, I know! So, um, for once I'm not going to write something rant-y and just...write whatever spews out of my head I suppose! Haha. (Ugh, I really don't like that word...'spew'...just reminds me of something disgusting and icky that would splurt outta somebody's ears or nose...Ugh...'splurt'...Both of those words sound gross anyways!)

ANYWAYS! (Before I digress even further, haha!)

Um, I figured I might as well write a paragraph to sum up my 2015 summer! Just well, to write really and just let off some steam!

Well first off, got introduced to loads of anime by some of my friends which they all asked me to watch and I mean LOADS! And 90% I didn't even bother to watch. If some of you are wondering "Ohmigod Jocelyn you're such a b$%ch! Why would you ignore your friends when their offering advice to you! Ohmigod, that's just mean!"; allow me to respond with the common exclamation:



 Along with what I responded to the girls who recommended me all those animes:








But some of them I was glad I was introduced to! For example Kekkai Sensen was awesome-sauce! It's kind of a dystopian-themed anime...? But a much more comedic theme and the art is just amazing and so is the animation! Problem is? ... A second season is not confirmed. Which sucks.

Also, tried out poetry and freestyle rapping! Which both sucked, but it was fun going through the interesting genres! I mean, I never really took rap seriously since I always had a vision of some high snoop dogg and an angry, abusive Chris Brown and Kanye rapping about love and bouncing gluteals.

But finding out more about freestyle rap... I give respect to whoever can do it! Because believe me when I say that It. Is. Hard! (that's wut she sed) Honestly, I don't know HOW people can just randomly pull out perfectly structured eloquent rhymes off the top of their heads like that! Hence  why I couldn't really succeed in attempting to do it with my friends...he he. But! I managed to learn how to sing all of the rap verses of 'Alphabet Aerobics' (still having trouble with the 'W' verse...grr!), 'Bust a Move', 'I need a doctor' and the first...third? and kind of the fourth verses of 'Rap God'. Don't even bother asking me if I can rap the fast verse because we all know the answer to that...

Anywhoots! Poetry!

Poetry was...



 

I mean, if I'm bored on a plane and there's a book, I definitely wouldn't mind reading some poems! It's just that I had to endure an entire year of studying them academically so...you can imagine how "eager" I was to the idea of reading them again.

But it's just that other than the classics and the old ones (e.g. the Goblin Market, oh that one is so good!) ... the ones I find online either confuse me, scare me or just don't interest me as much. On DeviantArt most of them are about self-harm and depression, which is a totally legitimate way of expressing such emotions, I'm not hating! But you sort of get tired of seeing those kinds of stuff the 50th time in a row...

I would write more but...got bored halfway through, ha ha! Plus it's pretty late over here so I'm gonna have to get off soon, but I'll probably write a juicy rant soon enough!

See ya then!

Buh Bye and have a good day/evening/night/morning!

My Dream Soundtrack For Guardians of the Galaxy 2

Now, for those of you who know me personally would know that first and foremost that I am a HUGE Guardians of the Galaxy fan. Not just of the movie (that I would rant about for hours how I just knew that it would be awesome AND that Groot and Rocket would be the most favorite characters in the film THREE FREAKIN' YEARS before it came out and how nobody believed me but I am digressing...), but I read the comic books as soon as I found out about the franchise and it was love at first glance!

 

So naturally, me being a huge fan of Guardians, I am REALLY excited for the sequel and I completely trust James Gunn to do another great job! (I don't think Mr. Gunn would ever stumble across this, but just in case: PLEASE can we have more Groot dancing? You're moves were the very definition of graceful swagness.) But I have been listening to some of my oldies music recently and then it suddenly hit me: "Huh... wonder what the soundtrack would be for Awesome Mix Vol. 2 ?"

 

And idea bunnies galore hit my brain a million miles per hour. So, before anybody does this before me, I wanted to write down my wish list/ mini-prediction list of what I dream for in the Awesome Mix Vol. 2 from all of the old hit wonders that I love to listen to!

 

One other point I should add in; for some artists, there are just SO many songs that they have done that I want in the next volume, that I just ended up with only writing the Artists' names I instead of all the songs from them.

 

These are the songs I want, not in any particular order:

 

1. Earth Wind and Fire

 

Okay, am I the only one who can actually imagine this happening? I cannot even begin to describe the ridiculous amount of times that I was crazily (and badly) dancing to 'Boogie Wonderland' or 'September'; These guys were practically a part of my childhood (with a little help from Happy Feet, not going to lie... ahem..)!

 

Their songs have just got that funky rhythm that is kind of similar to the tune that that flowed throughout the first Guardians, but at the same time brightly unique in it's own way! Not going to lie, did have a weird day dream of Groot waving a phone to 'After the Love is Gone'. So yeah, I REALLY want to see it happen and if it does; I TOTALLY CALLED IT!

 

I know I already names these songs, but the ones I want to hear from them mainly are the popular ones such as:

 

• 'Let's Groove Tonight' - 1971
• 'Boogie Wonderland'- 1971
• 'September' - 1971
• 'After the Love is Gone' - 1971
• 'Love's a Holiday' - 1977/6?

Oh! And I'm not sure if the next Vol is going to have music specific to the 60s maybe? I don't really know, but if it is... you know what? I honestly couldn't care less, I'm just making a wish list really then.

 

2. Footloose

 

 

...

 

Come on! COME ON! You cannot SERIOUSLY think I would NOT add this song into my list! I don't think I even have to explain myself here; it's a fun song, everybody who's got arms and legs can dance to it and don't even bother denying that you can't imagine Christ Pratt just dancing his a** off to this!

 

Don't get me wrong, I liked the movie as well! I watched it as a child once when it came on TV and ever since then , I never watched it until last year when I finally found out the title of the film (Again, English isn't my first language, so there's the explanation to the annoying people that might message me with the usual comments of 'Oh my gawd, how could you have like not know what footloose was like, oh my gawd!).

 

So, to summarise:

Nostalgia factor? Check!

Catchy song and tune? Check!

Hilarious boogying factor? Check!

Perfectly suitable for the film and characters? Check and Check!

 

3. Stevie Wonder

 

Why Stevie Wonder? Because again, his songs were a part of my childhood and I still love them to this day. Not only do I think it would be suitable for the film, but I honestly think that everybody in the audience would love the catchy tunes of his songs!

 

Some of them including:

 

• 'Superstition'- 1972
• 'I wish'- 1976
• 'I just Called to Say I Love you' - 1984

And uh.. I checked, True to Your Heart wouldn't fit in since it was released in 1989. Sad times.

 

 

4. Jackson 5 - Who's Lovin' You

 

Yeah, yeah, I know: "Uh, they've already got a Jackson 5 song in there!" But this is just another song that I liked from them and just peeping it in there in hopes of it maayyybbbee getting in there anyways. Besides, the vocals in that song are fantastic! I just couldn't leave it out of the list.

 

So, it's at this point where I am too lazy to explain every song that I put up, so I'll just write the artists' names, including the songs that I want; although I'll add in the pictures just in case people don't know them or forget who they are!

 

Enjoy the rest of the list!

 

 

5. Wham! - Wake me up before you Go Go

 

6. Queen

(And if you don't recognize them yet from this picture, then you've been living under a rock.)

 

• 'Don't Stop me Now' - 1978
• 'Bohemian Rhapsody' - 1975
• 'We are the Champions' (I mean, really, why would I NOT put this song in, Amiright? ;) ) - 1977
• 'We will Rock You' - 1977

7. Eagles - Hotel California

 

(1973)

 

8. The Bangles - Walk Like An Egyptian

 

(1985 - Hmm... Meh, I still say it counts considering Starlord gets abducted in 1988.)

 

9. Bob Dylan

 

• 'Blowin' in the Wind' - 1963
• 'Mr Tambourine Man' - 1965
• 'Knockin' on Heaven's Door' - 1973

 

10. Cream  - Sunshine of Your Love

 

(1967)

 

11. Deep Purple - Smoke on the Water

 

(1972)

 

12. Jefferson Airplane - Somebody to Love

 

(1967)

 

13. Dirty Dancing - (I've Had) The Time of my Life

 

(1987)

 

14. The Weather Girls - Rainin' Men

 

(1983)

 

15. Grease - 1978

 

• 'Summer Nights'
• 'You are the One that I Want'
• 'Greased Lightnin'

 

16. LIPPS INC - Funky Town

 

(1979)

 

17. Joan Jett - I love Rock n' Roll

 

(1981)

 

18. Bon Jovi - Halfway There

 

(1986) 

 

19. Def Leppard - Pour Some Sugar on Me

 

(1987)

 

20. Guns and Roses - Sweet Child of Mine

 

(1987)

 

21. Bonnie Tyler  - I need a Hero

 

(1986)

 

22. Elvis Presley

 

• 'Jailhouse Rock' - 1968
• 'Blue Suede Shoes' - 1956
• 'Hound Dog' - 1969
• 'Suspicious Minds' - 1969
• 'Heartbreak Hotel'- 1972
• 'Burning Love' - 1973
• 'Devil in Disguise' - 1975
• 'I Need Your Love Tonight' - 1975
• 'Rubberneckin' ' - 1969

 

 

And that's the majority!

 

Honestly, I would add some more hits that I loved from the 80s and 70s but I figured this long-a** list was ... well, long enough for you guys as it was. And not going to lie, this list was mainly for fun purposes and if any of the songs DO happen to go into the second film that are on this list...

 

I CALLED IT!

 

Haha, Anywhoots! I'll try to blog more! Although I can't promise anything because of exams... sigh! But, thanks for staying tuned and until the next blog,

 

See ya later~!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Most Hilarious Zombie Apocalypse EVER~!

So I have been recently watching some LessAmazingPhil videos where I stumbled upon a video called 'Z-day' and it's basically where Phil asked us to give us the following:

1. a number

2. a celebrity

3. an animal

4. a body part

5. your name

6. a youtuber

7. a building

8. another number

9. a plural object

10. an object

11. previously mentioned youtuber

12. a body part

13. another body part

14. your favorite place

15. a liquid

And I had NO idea why he asked us to do such things... until he read us the most HILARIOUS zombie apocalypse of ALL TIME:

It's been 3 months since z-day. The infection began when Chris Pratt kissed the diseased Pegasus on the Bum. my name is Jocelyn. me and Markiplier have been living in a Restaurant for 30 days. one day the zombies broke in where I keep my Socks. i butchered them with my trusty Comic Book until i slipped and hit Markiplier in the Face. in my shock a zombie bit my Toe off. i remain in Paris devouring the living. it turned out the cure of the infection was Pee.but it was TOO LATE.

Top Nine Favorite Mythological Creatures...

Author's note: I think the title says it all. One of the many factors that sometimes gets me hooked into a franchise, be it a book or movie or a TV show, are the mythological creatures in it. ... Or simply the fact that it has 'Fantasy' as one of its genres, but I'm digressing. It's one of the reasons why I bothered with the Hellboy comics AND its movies (despite the low quality of the second one...just my opinion!), the new I Frankenstein movie (you'll see in this list why I was intrigued from the first trailer) and the old Disney 'Gargoyles' cartoon series (why they canceled that show I'll never know...).

But let me clarify one thing before I continue with this list: Just because I'm making a list of my top nine favorite mythological creatures (in stories and franchises), does not necessarily mean that I believe they exist! So yes, I do not believe in ghosts, Big Foot, the Abominable Snowman or the Loch ness Monster 'cause I think that all that stuff is just a bunch of shirk. ... Except for aliens and parallel universes, that I do believe in but THAT is a tale for another day.

Oh! And another warning: Vampires are. NOT. ON. THIS. LIST!
I cannot BEGIN to describe the ridiculous amount of books in the Young Adults' sections (in every single BLOODY BOOKSTORE IN THE WORLD) that all have the same kind of book cover and genre about those pathetic creatures.
In fact, I think the only decent vampire I remember was Alucard from Hellsing:



Now THAT is a perfect representation of what a vampire SHOULD be like, but I'm digressing again.

Now, without further ado, let's begin with number ten:

9. Dwarves

Granted, Elves are also awesome humanoid beings in most franchises, but I can't help but find most Elf characters as just a bunch of Gary and Mary sues! (Excluding Legolas, 'cause he's the only chill dude in the Lord of the Rings franchise ... And no, DON'T YOU DARE MENTION THE SECOND HOBBIT MOVIE!) 

Slight info intro (rhyme unintended): Although the origins are not easy to determine, Dwarves are believed to be derived from Germanic and Norse mythology. Yes, they are basically short people and having large beards and excess hair seems to be a common trait among most male characters. Most Dwarves are known to have good skills in craftsmanship and metallurgy, which would also link to the common stereotype of a warrior Dwarf having an ax or a hammer as a weapon.

And WHY are they in my list you may ask?

Well, I am not going to deny it PARTLY has to do with:

 

And:

(seriously, am I the ONLY one who thought this guy was a chill dude?!)

But one of the many reasons as to why I like Dwarves is because most Dwarf characters are found to have one certain characteristic that I completely love in a character: Stubbornness. 

People can go ahead and rant to me about how ANNOYING stubborn characters are in certain franchises, but in my opinion stubborn characters are just the best! They are so much fun to watch in certain situations and stubborn characters are sometimes needed to provide certain points of views in some story lines.


(ahem!)

"Uh, but Jocelyn aren't they also kind of evil in the Hobbit since they have a stupid obsession with jewelery?"

...

So?

Like I previously said, Elves could have replaced Dwarves on this list and with good reasons! They are ALL inevitably good looking (I haven't met a franchise with ugly monster elves and if there is one... please inform me, I am intrigued to see such creatures), they are mostly either pure beings or they are well in tuned with nature, they are also intelligent and in most cases they can live much longer than the average human. Honestly, these creatures seem to be perfect!

...

Yawn.

If I wanted a perfect mary/gary sue character, I would've became a twiheart fan a LONG time ago! While Elves are not ALWAYS the good guys (Hellboy 2: Rise of the Golden Army), it is however a very common situation where they are or they're helping the protagonist against the bad guys. Dwarves do not have the luxury of being as perfect, but that's what makes them all the more better in my opinion! Characters are much more interesting when they have a dark side that sometimes shows and it's always awesome to see those rare angst-y moments where they are confronted with them.

Final point about why they are on this list: ... they also have awesome beards. Not to mention how badass they can look with their awesome axes and hammers!

8. Werewolves

"Oh my gawd, you picked werewolves over vampires?!"

Yes and let me point out two things: A) DOES NOT MEAN I AM ON TEACH JACOB! B) I have good reasons as to why I picked werewolves over vampires.

Let's start off with the visuals, shall we? If somebody asked you to think of a vampire, what would be the first image to pop into your head?

...

I don't know about you, but I'm probably guessing you either thought of this:

Or this:

...

Or this, depending on if you read the 'Dracula' classic or seen the old film:

But ever since the Twilight books (or maybe something happened before to cause this...), vampires have been reduced to pretty boy/girl characters who are mainly used in franchises simply for fanfiction-like romances or simply for the plain sexual-like gore that comes along with the drama. Go ahead and hate on me if you don't agree, but this is just my opinion since I've yet to see anything else.

However, if I asked you to think of a WEREWOLF, NOW what would be the first thing to pop into your head? Besides this:

(...okay, seriously, I think we'll end the twilight jokes here. IT'S AUGUST 2 THOUSAND FRIGGIN 14 PEOPLE! LET IT GO~! *frozen joke unintended*)

      

Most people who I have asked this question to gave me this picture:



And I do not blame them for thinking so.

Another info intro: Werewolf basically means 'Manwolf' since the word 'wer' in Saxon means man. Some believe that this creature derived from the Balkan areas, where the Dacians turned their people into wolves during certain rituals. Others say that they came from Greek myth, where Lycaos, a cruel king, offered a child to Zeus. The god was enraged and turned the king into a wolf. A werewolf is basically a man who can transform into a wolf and most of the time it has to be during a full moon.

The reason these dudes are on my list is because among my many awesome qualities, I also happen to be an anthro fan. And no, I do not consider myself a hardcore furry because in most cases, that means I have to embrace the 'dark side' of the anthro world which I will never do even if you paid me a million dollars. My point is that I like the look of the half-wolf and half-man thing because in my opinion, it just makes them look all the more thrillingly terrifying. However, there are cases when the man just completely turns into a wolf, which brings me on to my second point:

Werewolves kick ass. I don't care if you pumped the largest vampire on the planet with the strongest steroids, I'd still bet my entire allowance that the werewolf would kick the vampire's butt any day. They are large humanoid wolves for crying out loud! They are super strong, super fast, they have tough skin and their teeth seems to be able to tear through anything! In addition to the fact that they can stand upright thanks to their humanoid figure seems to give them an advantage in most cases.

Plus, werewolves only turn during a full moon, so werewolf characters are much less annoyingly angst-y than vampires in most situations.

The reason they're not higher up in my list is 'cause they still have those common weaknesses of silver, mercury, wolfsbane and stake to the heart. Along with another creature that I simply could NOT put below the werewolf on this list:

7. Griffons

                                 

Basic info intro: the common look of a griffin is a creature with half the body of a lion and the other half of an eagle with its wings too. From there, people can make their own alterations. Because the eagle and lion were considered kings of their species, the Griffin was thought to be a very majestic creature. Adrienne Mayor, a historian and folklore expert, suggests that the Griffon came about from the misconception of a fossil finding near some gold veins. The Griffon has roots from India all the way to Europe and has sometimes been seen in some tapestries too:

                                 

Other than the fact that I love flying creatures, I just really love the whole Griffin look. Combining two of my favorite animals and making them the king of the beasts: what could be more awesome?! Moreover they are not considered dumb and wild creatures, but rather wise and wily characters or sometimes portrayed as clever tricksters who like to tease people with riddles.

I could try to write up more paragraphs about why this creature is one of my favorites, but it all comes down to one point: they are awesome.

Seriously, am I the only one who wouldn't mind having a Griffin for a pet?

6. Phoenix

Before I continue about why these creatures are on my list, may I just present a few pictures:

...

Do I REALLY need to rant to you about why this mythical bird is epic?

THEY ARE BIRDS MADE OUT OF FLAMES FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!

Under water or earth (still having an internal battle about this subject), fire is either my third or second favorite element. The fact that sometime during history, somebody created a legend of a bird being made out of this awesome element is just one of the most genius ideas ever! (Right next to peanut butter and chocolate) They just look very regal and majestic... and just plain awesome.

And they are practically immortal!

I'm sure most of you already know this from 'Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets', but when a Phoenix dies, it sets itself on fire and is born again from the ashes! So technically you cannot kill a Phoenix because it would just regenerate, but they're probably not indestructible.

Phoenixes also have been very popular throughout history, having many counterparts such as the 'Ancient Phoenix of Egypt: Benu' which is associated with the desire to become immortal  and the Chinese's 'Feng Huang', which is a symbol worn by the empress to represent high virtue and grace. 

The reason these badass birds are not higher up is because...let's be honest, compared to the vampires and werewolves and mermaids, Phoenixes are not that popular. Plus when you picture an epic mythical battle (for example...I dunno, picture Narnia) in any story, the author rarely puts in Phoenixes because they would totally burn the enemies down and it would be too easy. And finally, they're not the fantasy creatures that I fangasm the most to compared to the other beings on this list.

(to be continued in Part 2)

A VERY weird dream...

Author's note: Okay, I think you can guess from the title what this post will be about. Now, I know that you guys probably miss my epic lists and rants (not really, I'm probably just being cocky here) but I had this dream that was just...so weird and gory that I ended up writing a short about it! Now, it does continue on after the ending, but it gets WAY too gory and bloody afterwards (please refrain from asking how violent my mind truly is...) that I just decided to relieve you guys from the torture of reading that! ... Plus I never really wrote bloody action shorts, so I decided to write this up for now...

Now, just a warning in case you guys didn't get the hint from my previous statements: This does have bloody stuff in it! So for those of you with weak stomachs and big imaginations...refrain from reading please...

(Again, set in Skulduggery Pleasant universe.) Enjoy!

It was now winter in Germany's quaint countryside; the used-to-be green and lush meadows and farmlands were now coated with a thick layer of snow, like icing layered on a cake. The starry night sky was shut away from view because of the giant curtain of dark clouds; the ground still peppered slowly by them with new layers of snow. On the great expanse of snow and dead grass, there stood a random shed.

If it weren't for the fact that it looked broken down and not used in ages, people passing by might have been suspicious. However, the moss growing on most of it's sides and the gaping holes on the roof and door made it seem all the more old and less conspicuous; in addition to the aging wood and the ancient moldy scent around it.

Let us be honest here my dear readers, what passer by would bother to stop, take a look inside a broken shed and then climb down the wooden staircase that they would find if they opened the hatch door which was hidden under a rug? And what passer by would coincidentally happen to have a key card that would open a giant metal door that they would find if they climbed down the wooden staircase and continued to walk through a cement, spherical tunnel? Let us not forget the infinite amount of guards that this passer by would have to be brave enough to walk past if he opened the door with his coincidental key card, which would open into a strange underground facility with cement walls and floors.

Not many would admit into claiming to have met such a passer by and those who have... will most certainly have to nominate him the Oscar award for Countryside Curiosity.

However, such a person did commit all these acts and he wasn't merely passing by. In fact, as soon as the enemy found out he was in the building, they didn't hesitate to track him down and drag him into an interrogation room.

It was cold and had a foul rotten eggs smell hanging in the air like a soft haze. It had a simple square cement design, much like the rest of the underground building. The ceiling was covered with pipes of all different shapes and sizes; every now and then one or two pipes would let out a burst of hissing steam that wouldn't last for long and the room would return to it's deathly silence. Well... a silence that would only last for a short while, before the repeated sharp sounds of knuckles meeting flesh would begin again.

The previous trespasser had his arms and legs tied up to a plastic chair with thick wire rope; a single harsh bright light was shining down on him, leaving ghastly shadows on his face. His ridiculously large jaw was bruised and cut from the amount of beatings it received, one of his eyes were shut and bruised ; his bleeding bulbous nose was crooked at a very awkward angle and his lips were puffy and bloody. The only part of his body that wasn't injured was his brown hair, that was hanging loose in shoulder-length greasy strands.

His "interrogator" was a large muscular man in a white unbuttoned dress shirt with large sweat spots. He had a short Mohawk and his knuckles were bloody from how long the "interrogation" was taking.

"Genug!"

The Mohawk interrogator looked over his shoulder and stood up from his punching stance. Out of the shadows came a rather stout, balding man in a black double breasted suit. The little remaining grey hair on his head was slicked back with obvious care and the same could be said for his chin puff beard. His blank, ice blue eyes looked like they were constantly squinting and his upper lip barely showed behind his thick bottom lip. His suit looked brand new and not a speck of dust or rubble was to be found; he also wore an expensive-looking golden watch on his wrist. Overall, he had the air of a firm businessman and not the clean type either...

Mr. Hokrux slowly took two steps forward, gazed at the slouching and bleeding figure before him and snorted.

"You know, for a woman as well endowed and tactical people claim Ms. Magnanimous to be," He commented "I didn't think that she would be foolish enough to send some unprofessional weakling straight to the lion's den."

He didn't have a thick German accent, but there was a hint of it when he spoke. The only reply he got was a choking sound which then lead to the captive coughing out blood. Hokrux's mouth tilted into a small amused smirk.

"Oder hat sie vergessen, was passiert ist, um die letzte Person, die zu tun ist meine Basis zu infiltrieren versucht?" He mockingly asked with a raised eyebrow.

How could anyone forget what happened?

Poor Lixon was a man who was foolish enough to ask Mr. Hokrux for a favor, but one thing lead to another and in the end costed the lives of his wife, son and all of his money. He tried to take revenge by blowing Hokrux up in his own home, but the one who provided him the explosives sold him out and Lixon was caught. The day after, people found a man's private part dangling from a thin rope under a bridge. It didn't take a genius to figure out who's private part it was and what message Mr. Hokrux was sending.

The big-jawed prisoner shivered from the memory and replied with a heaving glottal voice "T-the f-fire..."

Hokrux simply scoffed "Was merely a distraction set for the security while we made our escape."

There has been a vicious rumor going around that Jocelyn had developed a very powerful shielding mechanism that would revolutionize the magic world, only this rumor managed to spread to Germany and it's underworld syndicates and gangs. Another rumor spread there that Hokrux had his eye on Jocelyn's merchandise for quite some time and others say that the Diablerie and Necromancers have offered him a very good ransom if he could get his hands on the blueprints for the weapons.

"And now that we have managed to get our hands on the blueprints, they are being analysed by our top engineers as we speak," Hokrux continued while turning his back on the prisoner, who suddenly went completely silent. "And even if Jocelyn tried to take them back, she would soon find herself given the same treatment that was given to our dear Mr. Lixon."

Hokrux suddenly heard a sharp whooshing sound, followed by a painful grunt and the large thump of a body collapsing to the ground.

"But you're forgetting one thing Mr. Hokrux."

The stout man's eyes widened with shock before he whirled around and saw his interrogator lying on the floor with a sharp, metal needle-like bullet jammed messily through the side of his neck. Blood flew and dripped from the Mohawk man's lips as he desperately tried to pull out the shard with shaking hands, but soon was lying still with lifeless eyes staring up at the ceiling. Hokrux slowly looked up from his friend's profusely bleeding carotid artery and saw his suddenly female prisoner biting onto a weird pen-like tube while smirking at him with a mischievously evil twinkle in her eyes.

"I don't have a dick to lose"

Before Hokrux could yell for help, his captive shot another needle-like bullet at a pipe above him and a huge billow of scaldingly hot steamed burst onto him, burning his entire head and hands. Hokrux let out a painful screech as he held his burnt hands close to his body. He tried to stumble away from the bursting pipe, but some of the steam was shot into his eyes which left him wobbling around blindly.

"I wasn't foolish enough to go straight into the lion's den Hokrux" Jocelyn's voice echoed tauntingly around him.

Hokrux tried to open his tearful eyes to catch a glimpse of his prisoner, but by then the room was already filled with steam that continued to erupt from the pipe. Hokrux was now sweating like a pig; his eyes, while blinking out tears of pain, were now wide with panic and fear as he turned around left and right like a gazelle being circled by a lion.

When a shadow grew over him, he whirled around and gasped shockingly as he stumbled back and collapsed to the floor. Jocelyn stood there in all her bloody glory, the thick wire rope that held her captive was now held by her like a whip. She was now a 5 ft 8 woman with pixie cut brown hair and a long nose with rather big nostrils; the clothes from the previous man she was disguised as (a ragged and bloody two piece black suit with black dress trousers and a leather belt) were now very baggy on her.

"I just needed a little evidence." She grinned at him and held out her other hand which had a weird, small and bloody hole right on the palm. There were soft and short sounds of flesh being ripped apart and Hokrux whimpered with disgust and horror when he saw a strange, metallic device slowly grow through the hole. It looked like an old fashioned mini-microphone that was covered in blood with a magic symbol on the tip. Jocelyn bent her finger and gently touched the symbol before it lighted up. Suddenly, Hokrux heard his own boasting voice being played back to him:

"And now that we have managed to get our hands on the blueprints, they are being analysed by our top engineers as we sp-"

Jocelyn tapped the symbol again and the light shut off along with Hokrux's voice recording.

Hokrux's face drained of all colour and he whimpered in fear when Jocelyn started to step slowly towards him, the wire rope in her hands now dangling threateningly towards him.

Jocelyn's grin widened into a cruel smirk and just before she could raise her arm, a sudden buzzing sound echoed around the room. Al Yankovic's "the Saga Begins" started to play and Jocelyn patted around her clothes in search of where it's coming from while Hokrux still sat frozen in a cowering position, too afraid to move an inch.

Jocelyn quirked an eyebrow confusedly and tilted her head slightly to the side when she couldn't find the device. Finally a look of realization dawned on her face; she lightly smacked her forehead while chuckling amusingly and pressed a finger against her ear.

"Hello, Magnanimous Speaking!" She cheerfully greeted with a large grin while dropping the wire rope and reaching up towards the metal bullet stuck into the pipe.

Hokrux finally broke out of his stupor and saw his chance to escape. While Jocelyn wasn't looking, he quickly spun around, tried to get up on his feet and run towards the door. However, before he could even place one foot on the ground, he felt a sharp and excruciating pain on his leg which made him howl in agony again. He looked back with tearful eyes and saw Jocelyn crouching down next to his leg while holding onto the needle-like bullet that was jammed through his calf. She smiled mischievously and wagged her finger at him teasingly, like she was scolding a child.

She stabbed the bullet deeper into his leg (earning another scream of torture and another spurt of blood) and held up a finger before replying pleasantly "Sorry sweetie, how much time did you say I have again?"

The sound of a squeaky voice started to project from...whatever device Jocelyn had plugged into her ear and Jocelyn simply nodded and hummed in confirmation as it continued to ramble on. However, it was what she said later on that made Hokrux freeze in terror:

"And all the bombs are in place?"

Bombs?! How did she ever place bombs in his building?! These were a few of the hundreds of questions that were running a million miles per second in Hokrux's head, along with: Will I be spared? and How long will it take for security to get here?! But all these thoughts were wiped out of his head when he felt Jocelyn sharply pull the bullet out of his leg, causing another tormenting wave of pain to course through his entire leg. By now, his entire body was shuddering from the agony and blood loss it was going through. Hokrux, now heaving with pain, flipped himself around (very slowly and painfully) until he was in a close enough sitting position and looked up again at Jocelyn while clutching his injured leg. 

She stood up from her crouching position and Hokrux saw the wired rope now back in her free hand again, while the other was still pressed against her ear. She gave a cheerful farewell and ended the call before turning back to the pathetic and sniveling man cowering on the floor beneath her.

"Well Mr. Hokrux!" Jocelyn beamed, somehow making Hokrux even more terrified "It seems that I will take my leave soon, so I'll have to cut this meeting short."

It was only when Jocelyn's smile miniaturized into a malicious smirk and when she whipped the wire rope into both her hands, did Hokrux truly understand what Jocelyn meant by cutting this meeting short...

The Liebster Blog Award (part 2)

Here are my 11 questions for my nominees:

• A dude walks up to you and gives you $600 and runs away. What would you do?
• If you had to pick between super speed or super strength, which would you choose?
• If today was your last day on planet earth before you would be shipped off to live on another amazing planet for the rest of your life, what would you do on your last day? (and let's say you had infinite amount of money)
• Which two colours would you say describes your personality best?
• What is your favorite kind of movie genre?
• What is the most adorable thing you have ever seen in your entire life?
• Would you prefer handling babies, toddlers or little kids?
• Do you have a nickname among your friends?
• If you could carve something for your relative or a friend or a significant other on their birthday on the moon, what would it be? (pictures and words included)
• If you would have to smell like a fruit for an entire day, what would it be?
• Which of these pranks would you pick on April fools day: make the victim sit on a chair with a pie on it or paint clown makeup on the victim's face before they wake up which will stay on them for the entire day.