Saturday, 2 August 2014

A VERY weird dream...

Author's note: Okay, I think you can guess from the title what this post will be about. Now, I know that you guys probably miss my epic lists and rants (not really, I'm probably just being cocky here) but I had this dream that was just...so weird and gory that I ended up writing a short about it! Now, it does continue on after the ending, but it gets WAY too gory and bloody afterwards (please refrain from asking how violent my mind truly is...) that I just decided to relieve you guys from the torture of reading that! ... Plus I never really wrote bloody action shorts, so I decided to write this up for now...

Now, just a warning in case you guys didn't get the hint from my previous statements: This does have bloody stuff in it! So for those of you with weak stomachs and big imaginations...refrain from reading please...

(Again, set in Skulduggery Pleasant universe.) Enjoy!

It was now winter in Germany's quaint countryside; the used-to-be green and lush meadows and farmlands were now coated with a thick layer of snow, like icing layered on a cake. The starry night sky was shut away from view because of the giant curtain of dark clouds; the ground still peppered slowly by them with new layers of snow. On the great expanse of snow and dead grass, there stood a random shed.

If it weren't for the fact that it looked broken down and not used in ages, people passing by might have been suspicious. However, the moss growing on most of it's sides and the gaping holes on the roof and door made it seem all the more old and less conspicuous; in addition to the aging wood and the ancient moldy scent around it.

Let us be honest here my dear readers, what passer by would bother to stop, take a look inside a broken shed and then climb down the wooden staircase that they would find if they opened the hatch door which was hidden under a rug? And what passer by would coincidentally happen to have a key card that would open a giant metal door that they would find if they climbed down the wooden staircase and continued to walk through a cement, spherical tunnel? Let us not forget the infinite amount of guards that this passer by would have to be brave enough to walk past if he opened the door with his coincidental key card, which would open into a strange underground facility with cement walls and floors.

Not many would admit into claiming to have met such a passer by and those who have... will most certainly have to nominate him the Oscar award for Countryside Curiosity.

However, such a person did commit all these acts and he wasn't merely passing by. In fact, as soon as the enemy found out he was in the building, they didn't hesitate to track him down and drag him into an interrogation room.

It was cold and had a foul rotten eggs smell hanging in the air like a soft haze. It had a simple square cement design, much like the rest of the underground building. The ceiling was covered with pipes of all different shapes and sizes; every now and then one or two pipes would let out a burst of hissing steam that wouldn't last for long and the room would return to it's deathly silence. Well... a silence that would only last for a short while, before the repeated sharp sounds of knuckles meeting flesh would begin again.

The previous trespasser had his arms and legs tied up to a plastic chair with thick wire rope; a single harsh bright light was shining down on him, leaving ghastly shadows on his face. His ridiculously large jaw was bruised and cut from the amount of beatings it received, one of his eyes were shut and bruised ; his bleeding bulbous nose was crooked at a very awkward angle and his lips were puffy and bloody. The only part of his body that wasn't injured was his brown hair, that was hanging loose in shoulder-length greasy strands.

His "interrogator" was a large muscular man in a white unbuttoned dress shirt with large sweat spots. He had a short Mohawk and his knuckles were bloody from how long the "interrogation" was taking.

"Genug!"

The Mohawk interrogator looked over his shoulder and stood up from his punching stance. Out of the shadows came a rather stout, balding man in a black double breasted suit. The little remaining grey hair on his head was slicked back with obvious care and the same could be said for his chin puff beard. His blank, ice blue eyes looked like they were constantly squinting and his upper lip barely showed behind his thick bottom lip. His suit looked brand new and not a speck of dust or rubble was to be found; he also wore an expensive-looking golden watch on his wrist. Overall, he had the air of a firm businessman and not the clean type either...

Mr. Hokrux slowly took two steps forward, gazed at the slouching and bleeding figure before him and snorted.

"You know, for a woman as well endowed and tactical people claim Ms. Magnanimous to be," He commented "I didn't think that she would be foolish enough to send some unprofessional weakling straight to the lion's den."

He didn't have a thick German accent, but there was a hint of it when he spoke. The only reply he got was a choking sound which then lead to the captive coughing out blood. Hokrux's mouth tilted into a small amused smirk.

"Oder hat sie vergessen, was passiert ist, um die letzte Person, die zu tun ist meine Basis zu infiltrieren versucht?" He mockingly asked with a raised eyebrow.

How could anyone forget what happened?

Poor Lixon was a man who was foolish enough to ask Mr. Hokrux for a favor, but one thing lead to another and in the end costed the lives of his wife, son and all of his money. He tried to take revenge by blowing Hokrux up in his own home, but the one who provided him the explosives sold him out and Lixon was caught. The day after, people found a man's private part dangling from a thin rope under a bridge. It didn't take a genius to figure out who's private part it was and what message Mr. Hokrux was sending.

The big-jawed prisoner shivered from the memory and replied with a heaving glottal voice "T-the f-fire..."

Hokrux simply scoffed "Was merely a distraction set for the security while we made our escape."

There has been a vicious rumor going around that Jocelyn had developed a very powerful shielding mechanism that would revolutionize the magic world, only this rumor managed to spread to Germany and it's underworld syndicates and gangs. Another rumor spread there that Hokrux had his eye on Jocelyn's merchandise for quite some time and others say that the Diablerie and Necromancers have offered him a very good ransom if he could get his hands on the blueprints for the weapons.

"And now that we have managed to get our hands on the blueprints, they are being analysed by our top engineers as we speak," Hokrux continued while turning his back on the prisoner, who suddenly went completely silent. "And even if Jocelyn tried to take them back, she would soon find herself given the same treatment that was given to our dear Mr. Lixon."

Hokrux suddenly heard a sharp whooshing sound, followed by a painful grunt and the large thump of a body collapsing to the ground.

"But you're forgetting one thing Mr. Hokrux."

The stout man's eyes widened with shock before he whirled around and saw his interrogator lying on the floor with a sharp, metal needle-like bullet jammed messily through the side of his neck. Blood flew and dripped from the Mohawk man's lips as he desperately tried to pull out the shard with shaking hands, but soon was lying still with lifeless eyes staring up at the ceiling. Hokrux slowly looked up from his friend's profusely bleeding carotid artery and saw his suddenly female prisoner biting onto a weird pen-like tube while smirking at him with a mischievously evil twinkle in her eyes.

"I don't have a dick to lose"

Before Hokrux could yell for help, his captive shot another needle-like bullet at a pipe above him and a huge billow of scaldingly hot steamed burst onto him, burning his entire head and hands. Hokrux let out a painful screech as he held his burnt hands close to his body. He tried to stumble away from the bursting pipe, but some of the steam was shot into his eyes which left him wobbling around blindly.

"I wasn't foolish enough to go straight into the lion's den Hokrux" Jocelyn's voice echoed tauntingly around him.

Hokrux tried to open his tearful eyes to catch a glimpse of his prisoner, but by then the room was already filled with steam that continued to erupt from the pipe. Hokrux was now sweating like a pig; his eyes, while blinking out tears of pain, were now wide with panic and fear as he turned around left and right like a gazelle being circled by a lion.

When a shadow grew over him, he whirled around and gasped shockingly as he stumbled back and collapsed to the floor. Jocelyn stood there in all her bloody glory, the thick wire rope that held her captive was now held by her like a whip. She was now a 5 ft 8 woman with pixie cut brown hair and a long nose with rather big nostrils; the clothes from the previous man she was disguised as (a ragged and bloody two piece black suit with black dress trousers and a leather belt) were now very baggy on her.

"I just needed a little evidence." She grinned at him and held out her other hand which had a weird, small and bloody hole right on the palm. There were soft and short sounds of flesh being ripped apart and Hokrux whimpered with disgust and horror when he saw a strange, metallic device slowly grow through the hole. It looked like an old fashioned mini-microphone that was covered in blood with a magic symbol on the tip. Jocelyn bent her finger and gently touched the symbol before it lighted up. Suddenly, Hokrux heard his own boasting voice being played back to him:

"And now that we have managed to get our hands on the blueprints, they are being analysed by our top engineers as we sp-"

Jocelyn tapped the symbol again and the light shut off along with Hokrux's voice recording.


Hokrux's face drained of all colour and he whimpered in fear when Jocelyn started to step slowly towards him, the wire rope in her hands now dangling threateningly towards him.

Jocelyn's grin widened into a cruel smirk and just before she could raise her arm, a sudden buzzing sound echoed around the room. Al Yankovic's "the Saga Begins" started to play and Jocelyn patted around her clothes in search of where it's coming from while Hokrux still sat frozen in a cowering position, too afraid to move an inch.

Jocelyn quirked an eyebrow confusedly and tilted her head slightly to the side when she couldn't find the device. Finally a look of realization dawned on her face; she lightly smacked her forehead while chuckling amusingly and pressed a finger against her ear.

"Hello, Magnanimous Speaking!" She cheerfully greeted with a large grin while dropping the wire rope and reaching up towards the metal bullet stuck into the pipe.

Hokrux finally broke out of his stupor and saw his chance to escape. While Jocelyn wasn't looking, he quickly spun around, tried to get up on his feet and run towards the door. However, before he could even place one foot on the ground, he felt a sharp and excruciating pain on his leg which made him howl in agony again. He looked back with tearful eyes and saw Jocelyn crouching down next to his leg while holding onto the needle-like bullet that was jammed through his calf. She smiled mischievously and wagged her finger at him teasingly, like she was scolding a child.

She stabbed the bullet deeper into his leg (earning another scream of torture and another spurt of blood) and held up a finger before replying pleasantly "Sorry sweetie, how much time did you say I have again?"

The sound of a squeaky voice started to project from...whatever device Jocelyn had plugged into her ear and Jocelyn simply nodded and hummed in confirmation as it continued to ramble on. However, it was what she said later on that made Hokrux freeze in terror:

"And all the bombs are in place?"

Bombs?! How did she ever place bombs in his building?! These were a few of the hundreds of questions that were running a million miles per second in Hokrux's head, along with: Will I be spared? and How long will it take for security to get here?! But all these thoughts were wiped out of his head when he felt Jocelyn sharply pull the bullet out of his leg, causing another tormenting wave of pain to course through his entire leg. By now, his entire body was shuddering from the agony and blood loss it was going through. Hokrux, now heaving with pain, flipped himself around (very slowly and painfully) until he was in a close enough sitting position and looked up again at Jocelyn while clutching his injured leg. 

She stood up from her crouching position and Hokrux saw the wired rope now back in her free hand again, while the other was still pressed against her ear. She gave a cheerful farewell and ended the call before turning back to the pathetic and sniveling man cowering on the floor beneath her.

"Well Mr. Hokrux!" Jocelyn beamed, somehow making Hokrux even more terrified "It seems that I will take my leave soon, so I'll have to cut this meeting short."

It was only when Jocelyn's smile miniaturized into a malicious smirk and when she whipped the wire rope into both her hands, did Hokrux truly understand what Jocelyn meant by cutting this meeting short...

Saturday, 19 July 2014

The Liebster Blog Award (part 2)

Here are my 11 questions for my nominees:


  • A dude walks up to you and gives you $600 and runs away. What would you do?
  • If you had to pick between super speed or super strength, which would you choose?
  • If today was your last day on planet earth before you would be shipped off to live on another amazing planet for the rest of your life, what would you do on your last day? (and let's say you had infinite amount of money)
  • Which two colours would you say describes your personality best?
  • What is your favorite kind of movie genre?
  • What is the most adorable thing you have ever seen in your entire life?
  • Would you prefer handling babies, toddlers or little kids?
  • Do you have a nickname among your friends?
  • If you could carve something for your relative or a friend or a significant other on their birthday on the moon, what would it be? (pictures and words included)
  • If you would have to smell like a fruit for an entire day, what would it be?
  • Which of these pranks would you pick on April fools day: make the victim sit on a chair with a pie on it or paint clown makeup on the victim's face before they wake up which will stay on them for the entire day.

The Liebster Blog Award...

Author's Note: Okay...
I do not know how in God's great wide universe did I end up being nominated for a fudgin' award,
but I guess it did!
Apparently my friend nominated me because I have a shot and so...
What the heck? I'll give it one.

Unfortunately, I shall have to go through the toe-curling and oh-so painful process of explaining the rules and whatnot:

The Rules are:

1. Post 11 facts about yourself.3. Nominate 5 - 11 bloggers 4. Tell the nominees you've nominated them (through email, comments and...I don't know, just find a way...FIND A WAY BACK INTO LOVE~)5. You can't nominate someone that has already been nominated2. Answer the 11 questions that the nominator gave you

So...My 11 Factos!

NUMERO UNO: 

I have a stuffed Enderman named Stevie! (Pronounced Sh - Tee - Vee) 




I have a special pocket on the front of a paticular shirt where I can sometimes plonk him whenever I wonder around the house or simply watch TV.

NUMERO DOS:

I can speak at least two words or more in Japanese, Russian, Swahili, Spanish, Mandarin, Portugese, German, Malaysian, Italian and Latin.

(I would also say Arabic, French and English, but I'm sort of fluent in those already.)


NUMMER DREI:

I wrestled a toy lobster when I was 6 and that was when I got my first paper cut.
I call it the "Battle of IKEA" since that is where it took place and what a glorious battle it was!
Blows were traded, blood was shed, fists were flying and needless to say that in the end, the best...uh...female won! (I'm assuming it was a woman anyways, it did say 'Susan' on the label. Besides, I have yet to meet a man called 'Susan' and if I did...that would be awesome.)

...

Although I did end up crying for my mum for a plaster...

NUMMER VIER:

My favorite snack to eat when I have nothing left to cook in the cabinets is:

Crackers and Custard!

I don't mind the flavor of the custard (but it obviously has to taste nice!), so long as the crackers are of sufficient enough quality for my pompous taste buds.

第五:

I cosplay as anime characters when I go to Comic Con (excluding my first Comic Con when I went as Batman...*shudder*...that was a horrible costume).

I AM NOT SAYING THAT I AM A WEIRD CRAZY FAN GIRL WHO LIKES TO DRESS UP!

I do it because it's fun and...well, let's face it folks: this is Comic Con! If you don't dress up, you will feel like a soulless outsider.

第六:

I like to listen to Al Yankovic.

For those of you who will instantly hate me because of this, I'm going to go ahead and assume that half of you are the Lady Gaga fans who got offended by Al's parody: "Perform This Way" and say:

αριθμός επτά:

Every 6 months, I have a craving to watch British comedy shows.

...

Don't ask me why, I just do.

νούμερο οκτώ:

My favorite type of cat of all time is the Ragamuffin


I dare you to tell me that you wouldn't want to scoop that up and give it a great big cuddle!

номер девять:

When I get bored in class, I sometimes imagine the teachers wearing ridiculous wigs while they are still writing on the board or giving us lectures.
Unfortunately, I cannot control the grins that pop up when I do which make the teachers suspicious and then they end up keeping an eye on me for the rest of the lesson.

...

That or they just assume that I am a little insane and they wouldn't be wrong to assume so.

Number Ten:

...Did I forget to mention that I am a Brony?


And now! For the 11 questions from my dear friend "Jessops98.blogspot":
(I realised that I spent a lot of font detail and description on my 11 facts, so now I'll relieve the amount of text for you people and try to keep the following answers short.)

1. If you had a super power, what would it be?

In terms of what would suit me most...probably telepathy. And by that, I mean reading people's thoughts and finding out everything about them by running through their brains!
...
That sounded less weird in my head. But I would respect people's privacy!
In terms of what I want as a super power, freezing time would be awesome. Imagine the amount of cool things you can do with that?!

2. If someone said to you ditch all of your friends and you'll become famous, would you?

I'd shove mustard down their ears with a tooth brush for even suggesting that to me and then kick them out of the country.

3. If you could choose which age to stop aging at, what would it be?

Hmmmm.....

I'd probably pick 37. Because if you think about it, you'd be old enough to look like you have some wisdom to people and you'd still retain some of your good looks for...I don't know, whenever the situation arises for you to use 'em?

4. Which movie best describes your life?

'Avengers'.

I would say how the character that would be closest to how I was in my life so far is Bruce Banner, but I want to avoid sparking the anger of my insane fangirl friends who would shoot me for even associating myself to the awesomeness that is Bruce Banner.

5. Who is your favorite person in the world?

Me.

6. Are you a converse or a vans person?

Neither.
Bandannas are my jam for the time being.

7. Can you do weird tricks with your body? If so, what?

I can miraculously trip on my own toes and fall into a face plant if that's what you would call a weird trick.

8. If you were to swap bodies with someone, who would it be?

I am going to creep out a lot of people by saying this, but probably a football player in fc Barcelona.

Think about it: They are very successful; their hobby is also their job; they're also very good at it (well, maybe some of them. I'm not up to date with football.) and they're very healthy and fit!

And honestly, no longer being a hormonal teenage female would be a HUGE relief to me.

9. What was your first word?

Surprisingly, the first time I ever spoke was when I sang along with my mum when she was singing a lullaby. 

But I can't remember the lyrics and neither can my mum.

10. Where do you think you would fit in the stereotypical American High school?

Probably with the nerds/geeks or the gamers or the techies.

11. If you had three wishes, what would you wish for? And why?

A) To know about everything and everyone in our solar system. Just to ensure that I become very successful in life. Totally not for blackmail material. Nope.

B) To be able to control when I can feel physical pain. That way I won't be as scared when I go for operations...or trips to the dentist.

C) To have infinite amount of wishes.

Need I clarify as to why I would wish that?

I nominate:


  • Woggzeh's World - woggzehsblog.blogspot
  • Our Adventures from Bigger Sky Country - billyshercarpenter.blogspot
  • Lists from a girl - listsfromacollegegirl.blogspot
  • Mo - randomest.blogspot
  • Earlene's Thoughts - earlenemayulrich.blogspot
11 questions will be in part 2



Sunday, 22 June 2014

Not really an interesting subject...

Author's Note: So I've basically been viewing other blogs, then viewed mine and realized that...other than the short stories, most of my blog posts are either me ranting or listing things I hate! And I just thought 'Woow...I'm starting to sound like a PMS-ing female version of Raphael (from TMNT) at this rate...' So yeah, I just thought that since I can list things I hate very efficiently, I figured I can list a few things I like with equal eloquence...

1. Anime and Manga...

Before I go on with this, let me clarify I'm not any of the following:

A) Those retarded fangirls who would only read the manga because there are hot guys in it.

B) Those retarded girls who only read it to impress guys or gain popularity.

C) Those extremist anime/manga fans who if they find someone within the vicinity and have no knowledge of anime/manga, will shoot at them.

D) Another whole level of extremist fangirls who have no life and waste it on worshiping anime/manga like it's a religion.

So now that we have that out of the way, let me clarify:

I lived in a childhood where we weren't able to watch cartoon network on TV, so all we had was a cartoon channel that was only able to afford cheap old anime series and that was basically all we were able to watch until later on when I was introduced to other cool channels like:

(yes, I get that this is drawn in the style of anime, but it doesn't count since it wasn't made by a Japanese anime/manga corporation)

And...



But I still liked anime and manga and liked to draw it from time to time. It's sorta like Disney! When you watch the movies later on when your older and you're inclined to dislike some of the movies because they're not that good when you re-watch them or maybe you think there's some bad message in it for the kids, you just can't do it! Because it's already a part of your childhood and it brings you back good memories of family and friends!

That's what anime/manga is to me in a weird sort of way I guess? Except we were also able to watch Disney on VCR, so we weren't THAT much deprived (You can thank five childhood years of Mulan, the Little Mermaid, Aladdin, Tarzan, Lion King and Treasure Planet for not turning me into a COMPLETE annoying anime/manga fangirl)

...

But I would pick Manga over Anime any day since some of the japanese animation is pretty crappy.


2. C & C food!

I don't know why, but I've recently been going on a food munching rampage (And I mean full on pacman-pigging-out-on-cherries-as-if-he-was-being-chased-by-ghosts food munching rampage!)  and I have found myself eating some very strange dishes...

And by strange, I think this picture shall suffice the full meaning of my statement:


( does not necessarily mean I am an 11th doctor fan!)


To put it in a nutshell, any food that begins with a C, will taste delicious with ANOTHER kind of food as long as it begins with a C as well! According to the logic of my taste buds...

It all began when my friend introduced me to custard and I tasted it for the first time. Naturally, it was very awesome and jokingly asked my friend if there were any fish fingers, to which she replied with a blank stare (honestly! Can't imagine why she wouldn't take my question seriously!). As epic as the custard was, I couldn't help but feel like there was something missing...
And then I laid eyes on a certain packet that sat on my friend's kitchen counter:

 
One thing led into another and in the end invented the soon-to-be famously worldwide dish of Crackers and Custard!

This was just the beginning of a whole LOAD of weird mixtures (* Words beginning with 'CH' count!) :

Cucumbers & Cake, 
Cappuccino & Cantaloupe, 
Carrot & Caramel, 
Caviar & Cheese*, 
Chickpeas & Chips, etc.

So, if you are invited over at my place for a snack...do NOT be surprised if you are given a side plate of crackers with a custard dipping!

 

(to be continued in part 2)

Tuesday, 22 April 2014

Kind of a "OHMIGERD I LURV THIS MOVIE" rant and a "But....urggghh..." rant

Author's note: BIG SPOILERS IN THIS FOR THOSE WHO HAVEN'T WATCHED CAPTAIN AMERICA AND WHO DON'T KNOW WHO THE TWINS WERE IN THE END OF CREDITS SCENE!

I just saw the brand new eagerly anticipated movie: Captain America 2!! (Another monumental fact side-part: I'm a big comic book nerd and proud)

I really loved it! The plot was awesome (even though I could see Nick Fury's revival coming), I liked the new character addition (Falcon), the action was just a jumble of pure holy clusterfights and I liked the whole vibe of S.H.I.E.L.D being secretly controlled by HYDRA throughout all those years and now, S.H.I.E.L.D is no more.

I would've flippin ADORED it, if a certain friend of mine didn't INSIST on taking seats that were RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE FLIPPIN SCREEN!! So for the entire movie, I had to be in an awkward, face-squishing position where my neck felt like someone was trying to squeeze it like a lemon. 
So thanks to her, I was wasting half the movie trying to get into a comfortable position.

I'm now interested on how Marvel is going to continue with Avengers 2: Age of Ultron when S.H.I.E.L.D is no longer in the picture? Or are they just gonna do what they did with Iron Man 3 and not mention them WHATSOEVER in the movie?

Extra bonus of epic-sceptic-awesomeness: I stayed to watch BOTH end of credit scenes!

I cannot believe the twins are finally in the picture!! I am so excited for how Marvel are gonna add in Magneto's kids into the big blockbuster films!

The only thing I didn't like about it was how Marvel has to CONSTANTLY put in Black Widow into their movies JUST to make things seem less gay and for sex appeal. 

I mean, come on!

If you're gonna add in a female character who just so happens to be a spy, AT LEAST make an effort to make her the badass and hardcore character that she is and not just some piece of eye candy. 

Not that they didn't manage half of that in this movie, she TOTALLY kicked ass when she was fighting Bucky. But when you see THIS on your way to watching the movie:



Please tell me I'm not the only one who winces and groans at the OBVIOUS Photoshop put into that and how you can feel the completely pointless romance scenes coming on.

Wednesday, 9 April 2014

Things That Bug Me The Most: Part 2 ... (again, not in any particular order)

3. Annoying People in the Cinema...

Okay, I'm sure you've probably heard this one so many times from angry friends, complaining relatives or whomever; but this was just something I could NOT leave out on my pet peeves list.

If you're a cinephile like me, (a person who is fond of motion pictures and loves going to the cinema) then I'm sure you would agree when I say that any movie that I watch at the cinema, I would like to watch it in the most silent, comfortable atmosphere possible. And I say 'most silent' because you all know that the day when a completely silent atmosphere in the cinema is possible is the day that David Niven is revived as a woman with a pink Afro (unless you've watched the old Pink Panther or Agatha Christie movies, I doubt you'd know who he is without googling him) . 

Let's be honest, there will ALWAYS be that one person, group or pair of people who munch really loud on their popcorn, slurp their drinks when it's nearly finished, momentarily start kicking the back of your seat and so on. THOSE things I don't mind, because it'll only bug me for a millisecond before I tune it out and just focus on the movie. 

But recently this year, I went to watch Robocop in 3D. The cinema was rather empty (not surprised, it wasn't that good of a movie anyway...) so I picked a rather high spot up top, put down my popcorn, got ready for the movie and all that jazz. When I sat down, I noticed a rather obese couple right in front of me with large buckets of popcorn. So yeah, I was definitely prepared for a rather noisy evening. What I WASN'T prepared for, was for this to happen:

The man's phone went off halfway through the movie and he suddenly stood up to answer it. 

Now, I'll be blunt, if it was a much more...skinnier...dude who stood up and blocked the screen, then that is fine! Because he would only take up a third or a quarter of the screen maximum and I would let it slide, because I could still tell what is happening from the other three quarters and he would eventually go down.

But that man was right in front of me and he wasn't skinny, so I wasn't able to see CRAP! I tapped him and asked him if he could sit back down. He held up a finger as if to say 'give me a mo' and continued speaking. 

So I waited...but it certainly wasn't for a mo! And I was getting really annoyed because he made me miss an entire scene waiting for him and what was even worse was that he was just chatting away and laughing VERY LOUDLY on the phone! 

By now, I was ready to bust a



up that guys butt, but I didn't want to make the cinema room anymore louder than it already was! So this time I threw...I think it was 3 or 4? ... bits of popcorn at him, which got his attention instantly.

After taking a moment or two to try and not laugh when he pulled this face at me (and believe me, it took a lot of will power) :

What is wrong with you?!



















I asked him again if he could please sit and quite down (I might have not said it as politely as that). The dude gave out an exasperated sigh (not the really annoyed kind of sighs, more like the exaggerated 'ohmigerd' bimbo sighs) and then just left the cinema room and didn't come back 'till the movie was near the end!

Now, I would rant on some more about the other stupid things people do in the cinema (like how they keep asking about what is happening when they can't even be bothered to watch the flippin' movie, or when somebody keeps a very bright mobile screen on for the entire movie) but this rant is long enough as it is and I don't want to cut the next one short.

Basically, annoying chatty people + bright mobile screens + me missing half the movie =



4. Angry Hypocritical Teachers...

Before someone reads this and starts to accuse me of being too judgmental on teachers, let me stop you right there and point out a few things:

I get that some teachers deserve respect from their students and that they believe they've earned it because they got this job, they probably worked hard for it and they're the ones who graduated from university. And yes, I also understand that they are human and that they're paid to teach, not to be honest angels. 

But I've never met a single person my age who never had a teacher at some point in their life who was a downright angry witch or mean devil (depending on the gender). 

I've had some angry witches in my time who got out of their way to make my (and other students') life in school a living hell, but what annoyed me the most was when (for example) they would see a girl walk into the classroom with a skirt that didn't go below her knees (keep in mind this is the first and last time she ever did this) and they would go CRAZY! 

And by 'Crazy' I don't mean 'coo coo for coco puffs', I mean they would act so mad that you wait for their heads to go:


So they would yell at said student for god knows how long, humiliate her in front of the class and as an extra bonus throw in some mean words here and there. And when they stand up to take the student to the principles office, you can't help but stare at the teacher with a 'what the flip is wrong with you' look when you see her wearing an even SHORTER skirt/shorts than the student!

You might be shaking your heads right now and think that I'm exaggerating, but I can assure you, I've seen teachers with skirt sizes that would make 70 year old men blush!

Tuesday, 8 April 2014

Things That Bug Me The Most: Part 1...(not in any paticular order, they just generally bug me...)

1. Things that should only take less than a minute or two to do and people take ages to do it...

If you ever happen to come across my profile, realize how much of an epic person I am and then decide: "You know what, this blogger sounds like a really cool dude and I'm gonna be BFFs with her/him!", there is one very important and monumental fact that you MUST know if you ever proceed to that action:

I'm a very very VERY impatient person.

And by 'very impatient', I don't mean like:



I mean that on a very bad day, I would punch/slap/shove the next person who stutters on the way they say 'barbiturate'.

Oh, and if you think that I'm a tiny bit too violent...let me show you a VERY common example:

So imagine you're standing in a queue for comic con (Another monumental fact: I'm a nerd and proud. So don't be surprised if I use comic con as another example later on in this blog). You're very excited, you worked half a year on your costume, you're there with all you're friends and you've all been queuing for 2 flippin' hours. Finally, you're at the front of the line, you're waiting for the person in front of you to get his tickets (for the next part, I'm gonna need to give this person a name, so we'll call him...Stephen.) and then this crap happens:

Stephen: Hi!

Ticket dude/dude...ette? : Hello sir! Which tickets would you like to buy?

Stephen: Oooh...gosh...um, what options do I have?

Ticket dude/girl/woman: Well sir, you have the option of buying the tickets for today only, tickets that last you the entire convention and a VIP ticket.

Stephen: Oh! How much do the VIP tickets cost?

Ticket dude/girl/woman: AED 500

Stephen: Oh no, that is a tad bit expensive for me...um...So how much are the tickets for the entire convention?

Ticket dude/girl/woman: AED 160

Stephen: Well....uh....hmmm...Hold on a minute...

*Stephen takes about...oh, a century or two...to double check the money in his wallet before he nods to the Ticket...dude*

Stephen: Yup! I'll take that one!

Ticket dude: Okay then sir, would you like to buy one of our vouchers or coupons?

Stephen: Oooh! What are those?!

End.


...

I think you can get what I'm getting at. It REALLY bugs me when I finally reach the top of the queue in whatever place, and the person in front of me takes AGES just to take an order. First of all, you should have decided what you wanted to get BEFORE you go up and queue; Second of all, you should have already known how much that item costs BEFORE you queue as well and finally, you should already decide IF you have enough to buy it as well.

And it's not only those kinds of things that people take AGES to do; there are people who take ages to get the money out of their purse or wallet, people who take FOREVER to park their car or get out of the parking spot and that one time you're on a plane and you're waiting for hours for the person to finish using the bathroom. Well... I guess the parking spot one isn't something that really bugs me if the person is just trying to play it safe, so I'll let that one slide. 


2. People who chew chewing gum with their mouths open and kids blowing bubbles...

Really....Do I need to clarify on this one?

In my opinion, it's just plain torture having to be in the same room with a person who is chewing their chewing gum in the most obnoxious way and having to listen to the disgusting sounds of their saliva being mixed with the artificial flavors of gum.

And there's when some blow and pop bubbles with it. I don't mind if it's a teenager or an adult doing it, because at least THEY know how to do it properly and not make a mess.  But there is always that one parent who can't handle their screaming, whining child and gives her/him a piece of gum to shut them up. 

Now, I don't know about you, but I don't want to have to watch a kid blow a bubble, pop it all over their face and then start peeling it off very slowly piece by icky piece.

And don't get me started on when they start doing this:


Need I say more?

To be continued in Part 2....